Fight the Fluff (Part 1): How to Improve Business Copy by Cutting the Clutter

If you need business copy that gets results, don't let redundancies, padding and other word fluff stand in your way.

If we could speak sheep, I’m sure our friend below would have much to say about the benefits of fluff – and their very loose connection to my topic. But if fluff creeps into your business copy, it's unlikely to generate such a positive response from your readers.  

Loves fluff, but probably not your target audience.

What is word fluff?

Word fluff is anything that doesn’t add value to your writing, from repetitive words/phrases to overly complicated sentences. It can sneak in via the actual words used – for example, redundancies, padding, clichés and jargon – more on these below. And it can show up in how your words are put together – for example, smothered verbs, passive voice and over-explanations -– which I'll cover in part two.

Why de-fluffing is important

Whatever type of business copy you’re creating, you want customers or clients to skip through it, nod their heads at your well-made points and follow your call to action. You don’t want them looking up fancy words in dictionaries, furrowing their brows over obscure jargon and taking their business elsewhere. 

Taking some time to de-fluff your business copy brings many benefits:

• Improves clarity and understanding: Concise copy helps readers easily grasp your message.

• Improves engagement and impact: If readers don't have to battle through your text, they're less likely to take their attention (and business) elsewhere.

• Builds trust and credibility: Straightforward copy shows you understand your topic.

• Saves time and space: Getting to the point respects your readers' time and frees up valuable space if you have a limited word count.

• Enhances SEO performance: Copy clearly relating to user intent pleases our search engine overlords.

• Helps conversion rates: If readers understand your message – and its relevance to them – they are more likely to follow your call to action.

Word fluff's main offenders

Redundancies

Redundancy is about using more words than necessary. This can include repeating the same idea using different words (also known as tautology). For example, there’s no need for a final conclusion – all conclusions are final. And unless you request warning so you can practise your surprised face, it’s unlikely a surprise will be anything but unexpected. None of the deleted words below add anything to the meaning.

final conclusion

merge together

briefly summarise

unexpected surprise

introduced for the first time

Prepositions – such as of, in, up, at, above, with – can be necessary to show direction, time, place, etc. But if they aren’t necessary, they just add clutter.

You can meet up with us at next week's conference.

The documentary focuses in on climate change and its impact.

Unfamiliar, obscure or complex words

Although the Oxford English Dictionary defines more than 600,000 words, only 171,476 of those words are in current use, and it’s estimated most adult native speakers of English have a vocabulary of 20,000-35,000 words. That’s why it makes sense to be careful about using unfamiliar, obscure or complex words in your business copy. Obviously, everyone’s vocabulary is different, so what falls into this category will vary from person to person, but try to ensure the words you use don’t get in the way of what you’re trying to say.

This could mean avoiding overly fancy words – I read an article recently that used the word ‘winnow’, a word I’d never heard of. I now know its meaning in that context was ‘to separate’, but I’m sure the goal of that article wasn’t for me to open a new tab, look the word up and possibly never come back.

It could also mean replacing anything overly wordy such as ‘utilise’ (‘use’), ‘initiate’ (‘start’) or ‘endeavour’ (‘try’). If you need a simpler version of a word, the Plain English Campaign website has a handy A to Z of alternatives.

This: Our team seeks to strategically utilise integrated methodologies to facilitate the

optimisation of client-centric deliverables.

Becomes: Our team uses clear strategies to deliver what clients need.

Jargon, buzzwords or specialist terms

Again, what's appropriate here depends on your audience. For example, if you’re writing a B2B article about your tech firm’s latest product launch and the audience will be tech-savvy professionals, it might be acceptable – even necessary – to use industry jargon. But if you’re writing a how-to guide about that tech firm’s new product, aimed at users who may not be as tech savvy, use more ‘mainstream’ words or include brief explanations. Providing a glossary – such as the one I worked on with smartclip – can also be helpful and also positions your company as an expert in its field.

Padding

Common words or phrases that take up unnecessary space and dilute your message include adverbs such as ‘actually’, ‘basically’ or ‘absolutely’ and qualifiers such as ‘very’, ‘rather’, ‘quite’ or ‘really’.

Phrases such as ‘in addition’, ‘a variety of’, ‘a bit’, ‘in my opinion’, ‘whether or not’, ‘in order to’, ‘at the same time as’ or ‘due to the fact that’ can often be simplified or cut with no impact on meaning. Other fillers include ‘that’, numerous adjectives or long noun strings.

This: Whether or not Becomes: Whether

This: In order to Becomes: To

This: Due to the fact that Becomes: Because

This: At the same time as Becomes: While

This: In my opinion, the campaign actually resonated very well with the audience.

Becomes: The campaign resonated with the audience.

This: The Integrated Marketing and Brand Strategy Department develops and implements engaging, innovative, impactful, value-enhancing, brand-building marketing campaigns.

Becomes: The Marketing Team creates engaging campaigns designed to build brand awareness.   

Clichés and metaphors

You can ‘think outside the box’, ‘batten down the hatches’ or be ‘up to your ears’, but be careful about using clichés or metaphors in business copy, especially if you’re writing for an international audience who might not know what they mean. Check out a comprehensive list of clichés here, plus further guidance on dead metaphors, old expressions that may have lost touch with their original meaning.

Abstract words

Words referring to abstract or intangible qualities, ideas or concepts, such as ‘success’, ‘improvement’ or ‘efficiency’, can be vague and open to misinterpretation. Using concrete language that refers to specific actions, physical things, or actual results or metrics grounds the writing, giving tangible details readers can relate to and understand.

This: Our ratings improved.

Becomes: Our ratings increased by 24% year-on-year.

This: The campaign was a huge success.

Becomes: The campaign generated more than 200 new leads in its first week.

If you’d like me to improve your business copy with a thorough de-fluff, get in touch. And look out for part two about identifying fluff in how your words are put together. I just have to find another obscure image relating to fluff first...