Fight the Fluff (Part 1): How to Improve Business Copy by Cutting the Clutter

If you need business copy that gets results, don't let redundancies, padding and other word fluff stand in your way.

If we could speak sheep, I’m sure our friend below would have much to say about the benefits of fluff – and their very loose connection to my topic. But if fluff creeps into your business copy, it's unlikely to generate such a positive response from your readers.  

Loves fluff, but probably not your target audience.

What is word fluff?

Word fluff is anything that doesn’t add value to writing, from repetitive words/phrases to overly complicated syntax. It can sneak in via the actual words used – for example, redundancies, padding, clichés and jargon – more on these below. And it can show up in how words are put together – for example, smothered verbs, passive voice and unnecessary waffle – which is covered in part two.

See also: Fight the Fluff (Part 2): Why Grammar and Syntax Matter in Business Copy

Why de-fluffing is important

Whatever type of business copy I’m creating or editing, I want readers to skip through it, nod their heads at all the well-made points and follow the call to action. I don’t want them looking up fancy words in dictionaries, furrowing their brows over obscure jargon and taking their business elsewhere. 

De-fluffing copy isn’t just a box-ticking exercise, it brings many business benefits:

• Improves clarity and understanding: Concise copy helps readers easily grasp the message.

• Improves engagement and impact: If readers don’t have to battle through text, they’re less likely to take their attention (and business) elsewhere.

• Builds trust and credibility: Straightforward copy shows an understanding of the topic.

• Saves time and space: Getting to the point respects readers’ time and frees up valuable space if there’s a limited word count.

• Enhances SEO performance: Copy clearly relating to user intent pleases our search engine overlords.

• Helps conversion rates: If readers understand the message – and its relevance to them – they are more likely to follow the call to action.

How to reduce the fluff in your business copy

Eliminate redundancies

Redundancy is about using more words than necessary. This can include repeating the same idea using different words (also known as tautology). For example, there’s no need for a final conclusion – all conclusions are final. And unless you request warning so you can practise your surprised face, it’s unlikely a surprise will be anything but unexpected. None of the words in italics below add anything to the meaning.

final conclusion

merge together

briefly summarise

unexpected surprise

introduced for the first time

Prepositions – such as of, in, up, at, above, with – can be necessary to show direction, time, place, etc. But if they aren’t necessary, they just add clutter.

You can meet up with us at next week's conference.

The documentary focuses in on climate change and its impact.

Avoid unfamiliar, obscure or complex words

Although the Oxford English Dictionary defines more than 600,000 words, only 171,476 of those words are in current use, and it’s estimated most adult native speakers of English have a vocabulary of 20,000-35,000 words. That’s why it makes sense to be careful about using unfamiliar, obscure or complex words in business copy. Obviously, everyone’s vocabulary is different, so what falls into this category will vary from person to person, but it’s important to ensure the words used don’t get in the way of the message.

This could mean avoiding overly fancy words – I read an article recently that used the word ‘winnow’, a word I’d never heard of. I now know its meaning in that context was ‘to separate’, but I’m sure the goal of that article wasn’t for me to open a new tab, look the word up and possibly never come back. It could also mean replacing anything overly wordy with a simpler version, such as ‘utilise’ (‘use’), ‘initiate’ (‘start’) or ‘endeavour’ (‘try’).

This: Our team seeks to strategically utilise integrated methodologies to facilitate the

optimisation of client-centric deliverables.

Becomes: Our team uses clear strategies to deliver what clients need.

Limit jargon, buzzwords or specialist terms

Again, what's appropriate here depends on the audience. For example, if it’s a B2B article about a tech firm’s latest product launch and the audience will be tech-savvy professionals, it might be acceptable – even necessary – to use industry jargon. But if it’s a how-to guide about that tech firm’s new product, aimed at users who may not be as tech savvy, it will help to use more ‘mainstream’ words or to add brief explanations. Providing a glossary – such as the one I worked on with smartclip – can be helpful and also positions a company as an expert in its field.

Cut padding

Common words or phrases that take up unnecessary space and dilute messages include adverbs such as ‘actually’, ‘basically’ or ‘absolutely’ and qualifiers such as ‘very’, ‘rather’, ‘quite’ or ‘really’.

Phrases such as ‘in addition’, ‘a variety of’, ‘a bit’, ‘in my opinion’, ‘whether or not’, ‘in order to’, ‘at the same time as’ or ‘due to the fact that’ can often be simplified or cut with no impact on meaning. Other fillers include ‘that’, numerous adjectives or long noun strings.

This: Whether or not Becomes: Whether

This: In order to Becomes: To

This: Due to the fact that Becomes: Because

This: At the same time as Becomes: While

This: In my opinion, the campaign actually resonated very well with the audience.

Becomes: The campaign resonated with the audience.

This: The Integrated Marketing and Brand Strategy Department develops and implements engaging, innovative, impactful, value-enhancing, brand-building marketing campaigns.

Becomes: The Marketing Team creates engaging campaigns designed to build brand awareness.   

Avoid clichés and metaphors

We can all ‘think outside the box’, ‘batten down the hatches’ or be ‘up to our ears’, but clichés or metaphors don’t always work in business copy, especially if it’s for an international audience who might not know what they mean.

Don't use abstract words

Words referring to abstract or intangible qualities, ideas or concepts, such as ‘success’, ‘improvement’ or ‘efficiency’, can be vague and open to misinterpretation. Using concrete language that refers to specific actions, physical things, or actual results or metrics grounds the writing, giving tangible details readers can relate to and understand.

This: Our ratings improved.

Becomes: Our ratings increased by 24% year-on-year.

This: The campaign was a huge success.

Becomes: The campaign generated more than 200 new leads in its first week.

To improve your business copy with a thorough de-fluff, get in touch. And while you’re waiting for me to reply (which I promise won’t be long), why not head to part two for more on the word fluff red flags I look for when it comes to grammar and syntax...